13 December 2013

To a Beloved

Thank you for your letter; its a constructive step, and sounds like you’re attempting apology. I feel more of an asking forgiveness. Of course, I forgive you. If I didn't I’d be disappointed in myself deep in my soul.

Of course, I forgive you. I hope it nudges you to your forgiveness of yourself. But... your letter assigns me a power I do not have. Only you can forgive your self. Only you can find a teacher to guide you on your path to forgive your self. You must seek your Higher Power. Only you can choose this constructive step. Its your power, even now, as you read. Only you can seek that forgiveness with your Higher Power. Its a practice only you can constructively act upon.
I know it feels lonesome. And, at times, I know it really is lonesome, but
“Well, you got to walk that lonesome valley You got to walk it by yourself Nobody else can walk it for you You got to walk it by yourself…”
You must find a way to trust your Higher Power; and you must surrender to your Higher Power; no one else can do that but you. You have the power and when you practice embracing it and practice it again and again you will feel your power.
As for your apology… an “apology” expresses regret and sorrow, which you attempt by using the words. But an apology asks pardon for specific faults or offenses. You do not name and say your specific faults and offenses. You must give your faults and offenses a name and place each in a complete subject, object, verb, “I” statement sentence. You must own and say each one; you must apologize each. Name and claim: only you have this power to name and say.
Name and claim. Only you have the power to conquer your sense of shame you may feel. I know you can do this. I know you can name and claim what you did. You must claim, name, and say your acts. You’re an adult and you can find a way. This will be your constructive selfishness.
As for your practical problems of day-to-day money for constructive selfishness where you and your Higher Power find yourself I offer no solution. As for your practical problems of day-to-day living in the geo-place where you and your Higher Power find yourself I offer no advice. Youre doing what adults do: making your choices, paying your money, and living with the consequences of your choices. Only you can name, claim, and act upon, and live with the consequences of your choices. They will build your scaffold of constructive selfishness. They will build your real constructive life. Only YOU and your Higher Power can do this.
I know your Mother has made many suggestions many times over our time together. Do you recall them? None will bear your constructive fruitful selfishness until you act, practice, and live with your choices and their consequences. You are an adult. We, all of us, in this life, take our chances, make our choices, earn our money, pay our money, and live with our consequences.
This takes practice; there is no other way. You will not practice until you claim your Higher Power. You will not grow until you surrender to your Higher Power and you practice with your Higher Power. You will not practice until YOU name your choices and you claim your responsibilities and you live with their consequences everyday.
“Yeah, you got to walk that lonesome valley You got to walk it by yourself Ain’t nobody else gonna go there for you You got to go there by yourself…”
As for our kinfolk, well, I’m not chatty about your choices and consequences. This particular stasis will not last much longer. I will not be false to direct questions. I speak my experience and truth, as I perceive it. My truth is that writing and trying lead you to cultivate your constructive selfishness; thats my hope and encouragement for you. It’s all I can constructively offer.

Your letter is a constructive act. I feel like you’re asking forgiveness. I forgive you. If I didnt I’d be disappointed deep in my soul. I hope for blessings for the journey you and your Higher Power chart.

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