29 July 2012

I am . . .


I am but one, but I am.
I cannot do everything, but I can do something!
What I can do, I ought to do.
What I ought to do, by the grace of God, I will do!
Lord, what will thou have me do?

15 July 2012

12 July 2012

Taoist Tai Chi ~ 4


At certain moments when I practice Taoist Tai Chi I push down in my feet and shift forward and back within the Taoist Tai Chi form. Beginning instructors emphasize, “Trust the form.” The motion in the form is isolated and emphasized in one Taoist Tai Chi exercise. It’s a tor-yu. The continuing instructor says, “Feel your body move inside the form.” After four years I'm beginning to trust and experience my tor-yu sensations. Claire describes pushing down with feet as if “rooted in the floor.” She calls it “poetic”. Her poetry is apt. Yes! Taoist Tai Chi is physically and verbally poetic for me too. Rooted movement is my experience. It only lasts moments; stability rooted in feet and mind. The experience is stable and fluid. Taoist Tai Chi is rooted motion. It's surprising!

10 July 2012

Photography

In the beginning as a 6 year old boy I enjoyed seeing my Father's photography magazine pictures. I saw Edward Weston’s image, Nude Oceano. Later on I learned to make my own photographs. I'd turn away from this again and again. I'd return again and again. It was my way of being with myself and with others. I transformed my photography and being into my ambition. I differentiated my being and my ambition. I transformed my seeing and being into creating images for money. I matured and became adult. I mastered multiple analog photographic technologies, multiple lighting systems, with all camera formats on locations and in studio. It was work. I was not Edward Weston but his work was the spark. 
And . . . I was my passion and that made all the difference.

Haiku ~ 2

I grip the ground,
and root my feet fast.
The wind blows round me.

07 July 2012

Straight ~ Lift & Separate


As a 7-year old boy watching the TV Grandpa McCoy with my Grandma I was embarrassed by brassiere ads hawking lift and separate breasts. In junior high I loved art class. My red-sweater clad French twisted hair teacher screamed lift and separate. I had to stay after class and write 500 times, “A closed mouth catches no flies.” My desire was only fueled. I'm not sure what I'd done.
In my late ‘60’s all boys school I was good looking, shy, and dated sensitive eager girls from all girl schools. We were desire in eros. As a young NYC ‘70’s man I was dark, handsome, shy, and constantly erect. Star Trek’s Scottie might have said, “There’s nothing I can do Captain, I've got to give her all I’ve got!” No sensible ‘70’s woman got near me. I missed the Plato’s retreat scene. Actually I missed every ‘70’s NYC scene. Near the end of my NYC era a single woman picked me up. I was seated . . . at a bar . . . watching baseball. “Who's playing?”
These days my spirit is willing and my flesh is tiring - downward. I'm targeted by big-pharma faux-looking scientific TV ads hawking concentrated testosterone (AndroGel+1.62%) on all TV-sports I watch. I prefer my beloveds Gaia shape. A hilarious 4-hour side effect? I’m lucky with 4 squishy minutes.

04 July 2012

Panic


What is a fearful soul to do? Permitting your emotions to bind up your choices will not help. I suggest,
Look & Reappraise: Is your panic based in an imminent reality? Is your imagination driving your fear?
Put Yourself in a Different Pair of Shoes: Think of questions you might ask yourself, as if you were in that other pair of reasonable and responsible shoes.
Track & Write Down Your Feelings: You may not want your stewardship of your panic to be driven by your emotions. So put some distance between your emotions with your left-brain. Write your feelings down on paper. Do you want to be mastered by your feelings? Do you want to be held hostage by your feelings? To write your feelings down helps master your feelings.
Try Planning: When events cool down make intentional choices to make a plan.   Once you make a plan try executing it. After you've done that for a while, and you've stopped, for whatever reason, start again. Yes, that's right, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again. I call it personal forgiveness.
Personal forgiveness is where I begin again. It's difficult. It takes time. And personal forgiveness takes patience. But you, the one who wants to try, who needs to try, you, who try to be and do, and who may not be and do as much as you’d like, need your second chance. You can give yourself your second chance. Every one of us needs forgiveness. Every one of us who gets into their mess and who wants to get out of their mess needs a second chance.