09 February 2010

Random 3

I'm the father of two, a boy, 24, and a girl, 20. I'm a daddy, which is to say, I feel like a daddy even though I'm the non-custodial bio-parent who never left town. I wanted to be married; it's a mystery, maybe a calling. It may have had something to do with my enchantment with my parents’ black & white wedding photos that I used to look at as a boy. The photos are as much of the setting, the interior of a Connecticut Roman Catholic church, which is now burned down, as they are of my parents and their ceremony and celebration.

I always wanted to be a daddy; as a boy it was my job to take care of the cat. I was the youngest. I was the one who took care of all pets. As a result, when people asked me what I wanted to be, I said a veternairan. Later I wanted to be an artist. I didn't know what this meant so I experimented and found out. Later on, becoming a daddy empowered me and I felt it to be the most natural me in the world. By any standard I was not perfect, but I managed as a Father and Daddy, and I may have been good enough.

Now my children are young adults living their own lives.

And it all happened so quickly! So quickly it's confusing. I came from a confused birth family.

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